Struck down, but not destroyed

While rearranging and cleaning bedrooms today, I happened across an Evidence Bible that belongs to my son. It was a gift from his youth pastor seven years ago, used to prepare for a short term mission trip to New York City. As a 16 year old, Adam loved Jesus.  He was not at all timid about his commitment to God and was eager to witness to his peers.  He always enjoyed Sunday school, Christmas plays at church and truly had a love for the Lord. His nighttime prayers would have put some pastors to shame!  At age 10, he belted a version of “Awesome God” that would have made Rich Mullins proud. In recent years though , he had been to hell and back with his dad’s and my divorce. The let downs and disappointments that followed left him feeling abandoned. The Edge, as the youth group was called, was instrumental in keeping him from going over the edge. The positive male role models he was exposed to were filling a void that I could not. Returning from the trip, he was totally stoked; even more on fire for the Lord. Daily Bible reading became the norm, even on weekends! While camping one weekend, I recall him asking “Can you do me a favor, Mom? Could you bring me my Bible?”  I was so happy. We were so blessed. He was saved and then some.

As I grasp this Bible and open it, the words of truth are blurred by the onset of familiar tears. As I flip through the pages, a more peaceful time in our lives comes to mind. When did things change? At what point did this soldier for Christ  become clenched in the jaws of addiction? His decline began gradually but escalated to what I now know as the throes of addiction. I watched him die inside as my hope crumbled. The pain most days was unbearable.

This Bible was prematurely aged by Adam’s younger siblings and a large volume of milk. Despite my frantic attempt to save its pages by running it under water and heat drying it, the damage is obvious. Its crinkled pages and rough appearance, however, have not affected the truth within the binding, just as the pain and corruption caused by his addiction have failed to put out the light within my son. My desperate attempts to save Adam felt equally inadequate. This is a demon that even mothers are not equipped to defeat. I do take comfort in Romans 8:38-39 which says,For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I know when he accepted Christ, Adam was given the gift of the Holy Spirit. What God has started, he will be faithful to finish.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Adam is in recovery, thanks be to God, but he struggles daily to stay clean. My prayer every day for my son is for his complete surrender to God and His perfect will. Jesus says ,
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29

May he and all who struggle with addiction of any kind allow Jesus to carry the load and find rest from their burden.

The rate of death and incarceration due to drug use is skyrocketing. Addiction knows no boundaries. Satan loves the challenge of enticing a believer. Remind your young ones to never let their guard down, because one bad decision can mean a life long struggle. I know that someday Adam will be a vessel to bring God’s healing truth to the broken and hopeless. And just like that Bible, boldly proclaim truth despite the worlds attempt to destroy it.
                                             I love you, Adam.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. 2 Corinthians 4:7-12